The husband says:
"You really have to focus on the non-physical aspects of love when you're in a relationship with a person in chronic pain," says her partner, Sam Chupp, 40. "You have to concentrate on the mental and spiritual bond in order to carry you through times she has a flare [the worst period of pain]."Men like that are very rare. This couple became a couple 10 years ago and he's decided to stick to it. The better or worse part of the vows.
What it means:
Armistead does everything she can to feel good on their scheduled nights. She refrains from shopping or going to appointments on those days (that would make her too tired), and her teenage daughter (from a previous marriage) goes out with friends.
The challenging part is that even though they can schedule time for each other and stick to it, there's no way to schedule random flare-ups. The key, Chupp says, is not to set specific goals for the night.
"We just say we are going to enjoy each other, no matter what it turns out to be," he says. "Cuddling is a wonderful thing and can happen a lot more often than sex."
"I'll put it this way. Sometimes you want to share a big fancy dinner with her, but it turns out you just have to have a sandwich by yourself," he says.
Reading about this couple just depresses me. She has a daughter and obviously a very sensitive husband.
"You have to scale back your expectations from high school —, but high school was never this good," he quips. "When you are in love with someone and she is in pain all the time, when she wants to have sex with you in spite of it, it means she really wants to have it. You feel chosen and special."